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Ms. Google: Our Free Librarian

Our schools' librarian, Ms. Google, is a most remarkable librarian.
She has the most exceptional memory. She is very clean and very precise. Like the fabled Elephant, Ms. Google is said to never forget. And is she ever fast! Within a second of asking - and she always tells you how much time herself! (which would be conceited if it weren't so amazing!)- She can give me a list of over 22 million possible choices. 22 million! Isn't she amazing! My gosh I love having that much choice! How empowering it is. Not that I ever look at all of them... ( If truth be known I seldom go past the first page) But I love the incredible speed and thoroughness of her searches. I just love them and I just lover her. I almost never go anywhere else. And I never ask anyone else. Why would I? I trust her. Oh, I know she used to be a bit difficult. I don't mean she didn't deliver, but, on her first page she used to have like 30 choices. 30 choices on one page is too many isn't it? So, even without me complaining, or mentioning it, she changed to 10 choices. She said it was faster and better. I have to agree. I expect the time she took to consider my search and give me that first page must of sped up by half! Which is pretty remarkable isn't it? I mean honestly, I didn't really mind the wait before when it was 30 sites to a page, but, now that it is 10 it is just that much easier for me to click on one. And you know, it is almost always the right one! I almost never have to look at the other pages... which is a good thing cause there are like a hundred thousand of them... can you imagine if one actually had to sort this stuff by themselves? No way would we come up with 100 thousand pages in .2 of a second... But my librarian is the best there is... 22 million choices in .2 of a second.
My old librarian, Mrs. Talty, she could never come up with that many choices in that little time. She worked at our school. I miss her sometimes. She was nice and she'd talk about what I was looking for, and why I might define my search for information in a different way, or add some detail to it here and there. She'd even say that some of the stuff that I was looking at wasn't really accurate, or that it was "biased." in a certain way. She was neat. I do miss her. I heard she was expensive and that our school just didn't need a librarian... or a library for that matter. I don't know where all the books went? One day Mrs. Talty and the books were there and the next... well I guess books are expensive too. Ms. Google tells everyone she is free and she should know. I don't know how Ms. Google actually affords to live, But she is free so I expect she'll be around forever.
My dad says, "Nothing is free." But he's not great with computers.
I heard a rumour once that Ms. Google was paid lots and lots of money, and that she was a spy, and that she bought a killer-robot factory and that you could pay her to get on the first page, but that's just stupid talk. Killer Robots? That's stupid. And a Spy? Well, what's she spying on? Me? I don't think that's being a spy, that's just getting to know me better. So that she can help me more.
Ms. Google always says, "do no evil." Spying and Killer Robots are evil, so she just wouldn't do that. Still everyone has to make money somehow. And I don't know how she could make any money really? I mean yeah, she has those little adds, but, so? I heard somewhere, and I don't know where, and I even asked Ms. Google, --but she didn't find anything,-- but anyway I heard someone said she was paid by the click. Paid by Clicks!!!??? Must be pretty hard to buy stuff with clicks! (LOL) They even said that her whole aim was to make me click more often. That's why she changed from 30 sites on a page to 10 sites. But I know that's not right. Clicks aren't money, they're free too. If she want's them, she can have them. She's worth it. And as for people paying to get on the first page? That's stupid too. I asked Ms. Google about it and she said that she doesn't tell anyone how to get to the first page. Not anyone. I like that no one knows. That makes it more fair doesn't it?
When I like anything someone always says something negative about it. People are mean. Ms. Google is my friend.
Ms. Google is free. She says so everywhere. And to say she isn't free just doesn't make sense. I think she is just a really good person who wants to help. I'd vote for her to be the president of all the digital citizens, but I thinks she's happy just being everyone's favorite librarian.